Thank you for sharing. I read this when you first posted. It comforted me again today. Beth and I just lost our dog of 16 years this morning. I didn’t think it would be so hard. When my parents died it was almost a relief because they were both suffering. With the pet we had to choose the time, that was more difficult. Jack
Brian, I am just one of an endless list of people who will feel comfort, understanding, even redemption through the difficult words you shared. Your pain is not wasted. I do not believe that we can point to a reason for our suffering and loss, to somehow justify the hurt, but I do appreciate that we can still see light in the darkness. Thanks for your honesty, it is light to me. ~ Joannie
Brian thank you as always for sharing your thoughts feelings and experiences. I loved seeing the photos that you shared! I truly can’t imagine the loss of a sibling… But I am so glad to know that you have had such a strong support group as you have walked this path. I too believe sharing things can help others as well as ourselves. With that said, I’d like to share something a good friend shared with me this week. She lost her husband of over 40 years suddenly and unexpectedly a year ago. On the one year anniversary of his passing, she and her kids spent the day together, talking and sharing stories and memories through tears, and going through some of his personal belongings. She said she was wiped out for several days after that… She woke up the next day with the realization that there’d be no more firsts. No first holiday, no first birthday, no first anniversary… From that day forward it would now just be her life. I think maybe there’s something about the anticipation of coming upon the next first and the next that divides up time in the grief process? I thought later that maybe, (what has at least been true in my experiences of loss), it’s no longer the first birthday without them, but it’s their birthday and they would have been this many years old and so on. And maybe those occasions can start to come upon us a little more gently… I do believe very strongly that there is no timeline for grief and like you said each person‘s individual loss is different, but I’d not heard this process of the first year described that way before…or thought about the significance of firsts…so I thought I’d share her experience with you. Love you so much, Brian and as always, I so greatly appreciate you openly sharing all the aspects of your heart as I hope it continues to help you and other others who read your words.
Thank you for sharing. I read this when you first posted. It comforted me again today. Beth and I just lost our dog of 16 years this morning. I didn’t think it would be so hard. When my parents died it was almost a relief because they were both suffering. With the pet we had to choose the time, that was more difficult. Jack
Brian, I am just one of an endless list of people who will feel comfort, understanding, even redemption through the difficult words you shared. Your pain is not wasted. I do not believe that we can point to a reason for our suffering and loss, to somehow justify the hurt, but I do appreciate that we can still see light in the darkness. Thanks for your honesty, it is light to me. ~ Joannie
Brian thank you as always for sharing your thoughts feelings and experiences. I loved seeing the photos that you shared! I truly can’t imagine the loss of a sibling… But I am so glad to know that you have had such a strong support group as you have walked this path. I too believe sharing things can help others as well as ourselves. With that said, I’d like to share something a good friend shared with me this week. She lost her husband of over 40 years suddenly and unexpectedly a year ago. On the one year anniversary of his passing, she and her kids spent the day together, talking and sharing stories and memories through tears, and going through some of his personal belongings. She said she was wiped out for several days after that… She woke up the next day with the realization that there’d be no more firsts. No first holiday, no first birthday, no first anniversary… From that day forward it would now just be her life. I think maybe there’s something about the anticipation of coming upon the next first and the next that divides up time in the grief process? I thought later that maybe, (what has at least been true in my experiences of loss), it’s no longer the first birthday without them, but it’s their birthday and they would have been this many years old and so on. And maybe those occasions can start to come upon us a little more gently… I do believe very strongly that there is no timeline for grief and like you said each person‘s individual loss is different, but I’d not heard this process of the first year described that way before…or thought about the significance of firsts…so I thought I’d share her experience with you. Love you so much, Brian and as always, I so greatly appreciate you openly sharing all the aspects of your heart as I hope it continues to help you and other others who read your words.
Thank you Kathy. Those are really good ones and perspective from your friend. I am grateful for you and sharing this journey together. Love you.
Thank you for sharing deeply from your heart. I am grateful you have Suzy, Jesus, and a few other friends who understand. Your words are true.
Thanks for this well stated, honestly shared , multiple “complete-sentence” essay!
It touched deeply on many things I too have experienced.
It is such an awesome gift to have relatives and friends who do just stick beside us in this unknown and unchoreographed dance.
We DO get through that darkness and slowly see the gentle light of dawn.
May you keep sensing the healer of your broken heart holding it closely to His heart.